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Success and wellness… what’s communication got to do with it?
Everything!
Starting with being kind to yourself by using helpful and supportive self-talk. As well as keeping others informed or talking things through.
It also means bringing understanding and empathy into any conversation – especially the challenging ones. Fostering healthy conversations.
“For something so simple, communication sure can be complicated.”
Communication has an impact. So does not communicating – or total avoidance! It’s the same in any setting. At work, socially, or sharing time with friends, family and loved ones.
Stewing on Challenges
From covid to the cost of living, we have plenty on our collective plates. Challenges are all around. If we’re not careful, they’re our constant companions. With us when we go to sleep. Through the night. Ready to greet us when we wake. And that’s before we’ve started our day!
Bottling things up, mulling over them, or talking to the wrong people won’t help you or anyone else. Nor will oversharing.
So, what’s the answer?
Conversations and Courage
It starts with healthy conversations – and the courage to have them.
Combine this courage with effective listening and conversation skills, and you’re on the way. Setting up an environment where everyone, including you, is open to hearing and understanding what’s said. Something especially important in those moments where all you want to do is say your piece!
Know your Audience
Of course, the audience may differ. So, let’s think of two main types of conversations:
Personal and work conversations
These happen when we seek answers, options, clarity – or a sounding board. So it’s best to have these conversations with someone who can help. Sometimes that means family or friends. Other times it means an impartial third party or professional. Or it may need to be with someone we work with – an internal customer.
Customer conversations
When you’re in a customer contact role you’re dealing with external customers. So, the challenges around conversations are different. Often unknown until the conversation starts. Meaning if you are unprepared or in the wrong frame of mind, things can easily go pear-shaped and escalate. It won’t matter if it’s a call or visit you make, a call answered, or a customer approached.
Your relationship with these external customers – customers, clients or suppliers – is different. No matter how well you know them.
Mindset
Here are some tips to get you in the right frame of mind. Focused on reducing the residual impact of even the most challenging conversations:
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. People are generally not upset for the reason they think. So show empathy and respectfully separate the emotion from the situation.
- Take care with how you say what you want. Most of our communication is non-verbal – 70-93%. That’s why how we say something can be more important than the words we use.
- Pause briefly after listening and before speaking and see the difference it makes. Responding is thinking before acting – reacting is acting before thinking. That means a brief pause helps you respond rather than react.
- Plan what you want to say beforehand, wherever possible. Use any information you have to help you.
- Approach any conversation expecting the best – whilst being aware of the different outcomes. Think about the potential ‘worst case scenario’ so if it happens, you’re ready.
- Start the conversation with a greeting. Ask how they are. It puts the focus on the person, not the situation. You’ll get to the reason you’re speaking soon enough.
- A good rule of thumb? If you find yourself talking to someone about a situation they can do nothing about, or isn’t relevant to them, it may be time to stop. To regroup. To then have the conversation with the person or people, you need to have it with.
Feel in Charge
In our busy challenge-filled world, it’s easy to feel on the back foot. Think no one has time to talk to us. Or that we need to be on the defensive.
We also know the only person we can change is ourselves. So, aiming for healthy conversations helps you feel in charge of yourself and your success and wellness. It also has a positive flow-on impact on other people, even if they don’t realise it.
Going into each conversation expecting the best, whilst being prepared for the worst, is healthy. It reduces the residual impact. You’re also more likely to go into the next conversation as if it’s the first one for the day!
Until next time…
Anne
PS: Remember to share your thoughts, stories or experiences.