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Today’s blog is about becoming aware of an insidious creep in my life. And I don’t mean the person I always seem to meet on my daily run, no matter which direction I go!
No, I’m talking about what happens in life that we bounce through – until we realise we haven’t been.
An Insidious Creep
Back to my insidious creep. The catalyst? Too many deaths close together. Family behaving badly to cope. Plus big interstate moves, business changes and the pandemic. And me, the common denominator.
The creep started because I changed how I responded to things. An ever-so-slight shift I didn’t see – until I did!
My priorities of being a single parent, and running a business, drove me to push on. Kept me focussed. Moving from one ‘aha moment’ and learning to the next. I’ve always known patterns repeat with increased gusto until we learn what we need to. I talk about this as part of my work. I’d seen it before – and here I was in the middle of my own – again. And more intensely.
As I saw things more clearly, I was horrified at how I had faltered with one of my basic rules of life. I hadn’t been standing guard over my thoughts, responses and actions like I normally would. How did I know? Because the results and outcomes told the story. They always do!
Perspective
What a journey! Without these experiences or those who came into my life along the way, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Every good, exciting, challenging, painful and interesting one has played a part.
There’s no time or space for dwelling. It is of no value. It keeps you stuck. It also keeps you locked in unhelpful versions of experiences and stories – instead of allowing life events to transform with time. Which they will when we allow them to.
Reminders
Everything happens for a reason when we’re strong enough – or ready – to deal with it. The important thing isn’t so much what happens. It’s what we do with what happens – how we choose to respond or react. Whether we allow events, illnesses or injuries to define us – or be a part of our rich tapestry of life.
So, allow time and space for learning. My learnings have been great reminders that I’m human – and to keep my mindset how I want it, no matter what happens:
- Where your focus goes, your energy always flows. Driven by self-talk, body language, and what we talk about with others.
- Dealing with life experiences that trigger grief and trauma is personal. Seeking help is important. However, no one is in your shoes or can tell you how long it will take to move through.
- It is essential to stand guard to your thoughts – and keep checking in with this to ensure you are.
- Keeping your eyes open to reality and working with it differs significantly from allowing reality to create limitations and boundaries.
- A strong mindset around health and life helps you thrive and persevere in the face of life challenges.
- Being resilient and mentally tough is essential – and so is being vulnerable.
- Find ‘your people’ and stick close to them. These are the people who care and will be honest without judgment. They support without guilting, shaming or shoulding. They trust and respect you. Let them hold you accountable.
Reset
Mis-steps are our most outstanding teachers. Great prompts for a reset.
Even when unsure what’s happening or why, a reset keeps you alert that something is going on in your life that is helping you learn. Helps you to move through it sooner.
It’s good to reset regularly to help make the most of your learning. A daily morning reset keeps me on track. You might choose each morning or night. Each week. Each month. Whatever works for you.
Be Your Best
Put yourself first. Do what you need to do to be the best you for yourself. It’s the only way to be the best person for your much-loved family and friends, and each role you play in life.
It might start with living present. With working out how to balance holding memories and experiences close without living in the past. In the words of Dr Wayne Dyer1, “The past is the wake you leave behind.” And “The trail you have left behind cannot drive your life today.”
Think of a reset as putting your oxygen mask on before helping anyone else – and before you’re forced to!
Until next time…
Anne
1: Dr Wayne Dyer, Facebook Post 18.10.2015
PS: Today I’m showcasing another one of the Things We Like – Holistic Aromatherapy. It sits under Maintain Your Body in the world of Complementary Medicine. I was privileged to study this with Robert Tisserand in England. He is one of the world’s leading experts in Aromatherapy, and Founder of the Tisserand Institute – the place to go for a range of courses, and evidence-based information for the effective use of essential oils.
I’m a work-health-life wellness Strategist and Coach working with people like you to master communication, and to improve health and wellness so that you have the greatest opportunity to live the highest quality life for as long as possible. If you’re curious about how to move from where you are now to where you want to be, let me know: connect@livepresent.com.au.